Will vs. The Perfect First Birthday Gift

I came across the perfect idea for a first birthday gift and gift certificates to Hooters won't do. I do this out of love and mostly because I wanna get some hits from moms surfing the web. Ladies.



You probably are thinking what could I possibly give this new potato baby for his or her birthday. Let's be honest, it will not happen in a kiddie birthday party in some fast food restaurant. You would want to it to be among friends. Getting drunk. Because the kid is not gonna remember it anyway. Whatever. What do you get the human potato head? Toys are out, since they would most likely break and in their last days drenched in saliva as they face their oblivion. I'm writing the new Toy Story movie. Clothes get too small the day after you get them from the growing genetic pay loads. Maybe you just want infancy to last forever. A perma-baby if you will. But you can't. And I don't know why you would want that diaper duty in perpetua. I am here to help you to get that perfect gift which is actually more about you than the mini clone. Real talk here.

The answer is an imprint of your tiny college debt in the making. I could do it the usual way of making a silicon cast but the restless poop factory will never stop fidgeting for the 8 hours needed for the plaster to set. So I spotted this kit in National Bookstore and thought that I could buy eight of these and be set for birthday gifts for the next eight years. But since I'm a part time hobo I could only afford one so that leaves me with seven more birthdays to figure out how I could cheap my way out of. Seven more birthdays of me posting what to do, That is my gift to you universe/internet.

Colorland My Foot Print Plaster Molding Kit can be bought in National Bookstore for 122 pesetas (3 bucks) and I don't know about hobby shops but they probably carry some kind of other products like this. I recommend doing this project when the tiny manling is asleep. Because sleep paralysis is your friend here. The mold, in my guesstimate, would be enough for both foot and hands. Unless gigantism runs in the family.

A kit with a frame is also available costing around 220+ pesetas (5.50 bucks).

Contains gel mixture, mold, plaster mix, color, wall mount, and brush. No warnings against skin irritations labeled so I guess it's safe for one year olds. Unless they're bubble babies.

Now to sit in my thinking chair and think about what to do for the next year. I'm guessing pleading asylum to Antarctica.